The other night we lost our first game of the season...well, I shouldn't say we lost. We were blown out of the gym by 35 points. Not exactly what we envisioned at 7-0. There were a lot of reasons we lost---they were better than us; we shot very poorly; we were in foul trouble; the officiating was less than stellar; and the list goes on. Needless to say, none of us were happy with the outcome. As I talked with my team, my coaches and my wife, my frustration level went through the roof. I kept reliving various moments in the game that I had no control over---a bad call, a poor decision by a player, etc---and it drove me crazy. I went to bed this way and woke up still thinking about basketball. At some point that morning it dawned on me---"Derek, you are really screwed up."
My priorities were completely out-of-whack, and as I really considered the situation, it occurred to me that it's been this way for quite some time. I'm not sure when it got to this point, but basketball was obviously taking a position of lordship over my life. As I thought more about it, I realized that maybe basketball wasn't the only thing out of it's rightful place. Money and bills have created some serious stress. An inordinate amount of time has been put into work, usually at the expense of my family. It took a basketball game to get me self-evaluating and when I did, it wasn't pretty. But it was good. Why was I letting something so inconsequential wreck my night or an entire weekend? It's as if God let things get bad enough, let my stress level reach it's boiling point, to show me how ridiculous I've let things get. I was mad, frustrated and sick over a stupid basketball game. When was the last time I had that kind of anguish over any number of things that are infinitely more important? It was time for a change; I really feel that I was at a crossroads and God was laying out for me two choices----continue down this self-absorbed, short-sighted path and dive headfirst into a lukewarm faith that inevitably would result in destruction, or quickly adjust my heart and mind and get back to walking and thinking in the Spirit.
I made a decision last weekend. I decided that I refuse to let the circumstances of this world dictate my attitudes, emotions and behavior. I will reprioritize my time, effort and energy and put God in his rightful place on the throne of my life. No longer will I use people as my sounding board for my stress, but I choose to be salt and light in the lives of the people with whom I cross paths. As I made that decision, it is amazing the peace I have felt over the last several days. My stress level is as low as it has been in years. When you choose to actively work to connect with and think like the Lord, it is impossible for your attitude not to be affected. It's been a long time since I felt like God wants to do something new and special in my life, and I have felt that for the last week. No idea what that will be, but I'm excited to find out.
We lost again last night, this time by 5 points. Was there frustration? Of course. No one likes to lose. But my heart and mind immediately was encouraged by the improvements our guys made. This is in stark contrast to the frustration and anger I would normally feel. God is doing something. Sometimes He just needs you to check yo'self before...well, you know the rest.
